Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins

As you may, or may not know, I have been collecting and playing Warhammer for 16 years. What do I have to show for it? Thousands of miniatures, around one hundred have been painted, and a passion for something that rivals the passion sports-fans have for their home teams. What, pray tell, does this have to do with Orcs & Goblins? Well, let me tell you a story...


It was the middle of June, 1995. I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 8 year old looking for some Fantastic Four comic books in Muncie, Indiana. I was wandering around with my Grandmother and Mother and I spied a little sign hanging from a large building. The sign read "Wizards Keep" and I was immediately excited. I did not know what lay in wait behind the solid doors, down the winding steps, and on the shelves of the dusty, dank and dewy little store.

A man of the Kevin Smith demeanor glanced from his rumpled magazine and grunted a greeting. Confused but beaming with joy, I went up to the counter and asked the shop keep, "Do you have any Fantastic Fowa comic books?"

The man looked down over his beard, belly and counter. A twinkle in his eye belied his outer impression.

"What would you want with comic books, little man?" He chuckled. "Let me introduce you to something far more amazing than anything you have seen."

I thought to myself:

I have seen some pretty amazing things. I lived in an amusement park and my home was a giant theatre shaped like a castle! I have seen elephants at the circus, and motorcycle riders doing flips. I have played pirate on an actual pirate boat, and I have flown on planes!

Nothing, however, could have prepared me for what I saw. He lead my mother and I to a huge, glass covered, case. Inside were hundreds of little men, armour shining, guns blazing and tanks rumbling, across a land scape of sheer unimaginable alien-ness. I was awestruck.

"What are these?" I asked.

"These," he replied, smirking, "Are the Emperor's Finest. The mighty Space Marines and the loyal Imperial Guard, fighting side-by-side against the evil aliens that threaten mankind's existence."

My jaw dropped. I looked up at the man who had unwittingly, and unknowingly, just become my wise old wizard. "What do they do?"

An hour and $50 later, I was leaving the store with a box of the mighty Space Marines, a box of Space Wolf scouts, some paints, a brush, a hobby knife and some super-glue. My grandmother had gotten me an early Christmas present, and little did any of us know, it was just the tip of the iceberg slowly drifting into view.

Jump ahead: It's December, 1996. I rip off the paper to the Christmas present inside. I read the golden letters along the top of the box:

WARHAMMER

Yes, that's the one. I still have the Bretonnians from this box.

 I was amazed at how cool these figures were. I loved the knights, but I didn't want to mess them up. I left them unassembled, only dry-fitting their pieces together. I knew I wasn't a good enough painter to try out my hand at them.

The lizards, on the other hand, were goofy looking, so I figured "I will just practice on these guys." I went online (using AOL) and looked up the games-workshop website. I found hundreds of articles, a little ezine called "Black Gobbo" and a whole bunch of awesomely painted miniatures. I was blown away and when I wasn't building/painting, I was fanatically reading articles left and right.

Fast forward to December, 2000. I have yet to actually play a game of Warhammer/40k beyond what I was able to convince a couple of my friends to play with me. They all thought it was cool, but they wanted to play outside more than indoors. Christmas rolls around again, and I see a large, heavy box under the tree. I gently shake it and hear that sweet, sweet sound of plastic pieces bumping against each other. I had been following some of the developments of the Warhammer game and I knew that a new rulebook was due that year, and that it would be easier to teach my friends how to play.

On Christmas eve I tear open my presents, but I leave the big box for last. I got a Playstation game or two, a bunch of paint pots, a couple new brushes and some clothes. I was content, but I knew that big box was still under the tree waiting. I went to grab it and my parents looked at each other with big grins. My Grandmother was there that year, and my understanding was that she had brought this present from Indiana. She just sat in her chair, smiling and waiting for me to open the gift from halfway across the country.

I peeled back the decorative paper and what did I see? My favorite word in the WHOLE world, in bright, yellow and red cracked and shining lettering. I just sat there, inspecting ALL of the box art. The gory battle between humans and orcs drew me in. The Orcs looked so vicious and I was immediately enthralled by their hateful little eyes and gaping maw.

I have the original soft-cover rulebook for 6th Edition in my garage. It's beat to hell, but I still have it.

My dad interrupted my shocked and joyous silence. "Now, Christian, you have to build all those little men in there, because I want to try them out."

That was it, the best Christmas EVER. I had a permanent opponent who had weekends free! The following morning Santa had come and dropped off 5 containers of super-glue, a bunch of goblins and militia men, and even some cool little dice!

I was ready to rock and roll, and my army of choice? Orcs and Goblins!

So, there you have it. The fun little story about my induction into the hobby, and the first army I actually built, painted and played with: Orcs & Goblins.

When I heard that Games Workshop would be making a new army book for my precious little monsters, I was SUPER excited. I have read the rumours, flipped through the magic cards and seen the models, but it's high time I read through my newly purchased book and analyzed the viability of the army from MY point of view.

More to come, so check back soon!